I remember October 31, 1984. I don’t remember it because it was Halloween that day, but I remember it, then and since as my sober anniversary date. I recall the despair that I felt, the spiritual bottom when I arrived at the in-patient facility that would change my life. I will be forever grateful for the grace found there. I found my God as I had never known God before. I found God in others. I found the best part of me. I found the simple miracle of 12-step recovery. I discovered how a moment of grace can change my life.
I have not taken a drink or drug since that day. I remain in recovery. Recovery is different and personal for everyone. For me, it is ever fluid. I continue to learn about myself. I have recently struggled again with despair. I am not entirely sure why that is. I may be watching far too much news. I may be letting myself pay far too much attention to what may be the not so good in people. We are, after all, not perfect. We struggle some days to make sense of our days, especially what is happening around us.
I am struggling as I get older. I find myself not so sure at times.
So, I remember October 31, 1984. I remember that recovery and growth is fluid and constant. I remember the moments of grace that brought me then out of despair. I remember that those moments of grace will serve me now. One Day at a Time.